Chapter 3: Choosing an Agent
Everyone knows a real estate agent. Maybe it’s a friend from church, your cousin’s girlfriend, or a coworker’s spouse who “does a little real estate on the side.” And while it’s tempting to work with someone you already know, buying or selling a home isn’t a friendly favor. It’s one of the biggest financial and emotional decisions you’ll ever make. You deserve someone who will treat it with the care, honesty, and expertise it deserves.
The truth is, real estate is a business relationship first. That doesn’t mean it can’t be friendly or fun, but it does mean you need someone who will protect your best interests even when it’s uncomfortable. A great agent will tell you when a house isn’t right, when your offer isn’t strong enough, or when it’s time to walk away. That’s not negativity — it’s protection.
When I meet a new client, I want them to feel safe, not sold to. You should be able to ask questions, admit what you don’t know, and trust that your agent is being honest with you. If you ever feel like you can’t speak freely, that’s a sign something’s off.
Here’s what I believe every client deserves in an agent:
Honesty that protects you. You’re not hiring a cheerleader; you’re hiring a guide. A strong agent will give you clear advice, even when it’s hard to hear.
Good communication. Some clients like frequent updates, others prefer weekly summaries. Either way, you should never feel in the dark.
Education without ego. You deserve to understand what’s happening. A good agent explains things in plain language — not jargon — and makes sure you’re confident every step of the way.
Strategy and experience. This market changes fast. Your agent should know how to position your offer, time your sale, and connect you with trusted lenders, inspectors, and title partners.
Calm and steady leadership. Buying or selling a home can be emotional. You want someone who brings peace to the process and helps you focus on what matters most.
When it comes time to choose an agent, don’t rush it. Talk to at least two or three. Ask how long they’ve worked in your market, what kind of clients they specialize in, and how they handle negotiations. Pay attention to how you feel when you talk with them. Do they listen? Do they seem genuinely invested in your goals? Are they more focused on the relationship than the sale?
And if you’re considering working with a friend, have the honest conversation upfront. Make sure you can both commit to being direct and professional throughout the process. If that feels uncomfortable, it might be better to keep the friendship separate.
Finding the right agent changes everything. You’ll feel supported instead of stressed, informed instead of confused, and confident instead of anxious. That’s when the process becomes joyful — when you know you’re not doing it alone.
You’ve got a big decision ahead, but you don’t have to carry it by yourself. The right agent will walk beside you, protect your interests, and celebrate your success when the keys are finally in your hand.
Summary + Takeaways
Choosing an agent is a professional decision, not a personal favor.
Look for honesty, communication, and strategy over personality alone.
Interview multiple agents and ask thoughtful questions about their experience.
Be clear about expectations if you’re working with a friend.
The right agent helps you feel safe, supported, and confident from start to finish.
